Everyone wants to love and be loved, and yet it is an illusive concept for many people. We wonder why we don’t honor our health, our desires and our dreams. We wonder why we are afraid to go after big things. We sometimes fear relationships. We may fear parenting.

I know I have been afraid of all of those things, and sometimes I still am. After all, I have been single for six years with the exception of two or three short blips of relationships that never lasted longer than 3-5 months. I am finally accepting that I had messed up beliefs around love, who I am, how worthy I am and what I want and deserve in my life. I had messed up beliefs and fears about commitment, intimacy and vulnerability because none of it felt safe or real. I couldn’t trust it.

In a nutshell, all of the ways we play small are related to how we feel about LOVE.

Our deepest fear

As humans, we are all souls who come into this physical life. The challenge is we forget that we are souls.

We are conditioned and programmed by our caregivers, our culture, and our experiences. We may feel like something is missing because IT IS! We are so much more than all of that, which is such a tiny slice of the soul and who we really are.

We learn what love is from our caregivers, and lets be honest, nobody is perfect. People operate at their levels of consciousness and they may not have been capable of showing us what unconditional love really is. Maybe nobody showed them, which is frequently the case. They may have not had the opportunity to give us the attention we required. They may or may not have abused or neglected us, but lets just get real clear….

We ALL have mommy/daddy issues. And if you’ve been struggling with relationships you better believe and accept that you have some inner work to do. It may or may not involve letting go of fear of failure and fear of criticism, abandonment issues, guilt, shame, fear of speaking up for yourself, sadness, yearning for attention and love, bottled up hurt, squashed playfulness and a lost inner child.

Inner Child

Our brains are literally “wired up” in our earliest years. In the past science told us that our brain was permanently wired and could not be changed beyond adulthood. However, in the last decade or so, scientists have discovered something phenomenal.

What did they discover?

NEUROPLASTICITY

Neuroplasticity tells us that the brain is “plastic”, meaning that it can be rewired! You can change your neuropathways and create new ways of being who you are. You can soften old carvings in the brain and intentionally create new ones now that you are an awakened adult who remembers who you are.

How do we do that?

MEDITATION.

Meditation literally softens old pathways in the brain so you can create new ones that are stronger.

So what does all that have to do with our ideas about love? Well it has everything to do with love. Love is who we are and that is what we have forgotten.

We need to reprogram our beliefs and carve new neuropathways in our brains around our concept of LOVE.

How? We do it with the interconnectedness of the mind, body and soul.

You may be thinking, “what the heck does that even mean?” I totally understand. I myself wondered that as I embarked on my path of teaching yoga and becoming a holistic health coach.

we are not humans having a spiritual experience

MIND BODY SOUL has become a term that is tossed around so often that people don’t know what it really means. Most people just think it means wellness and a spa treatment.

Listen closely (er, read closely, lol). I’m about to tell you what it really means.


MIND

brain chemistry, neuropathways and programming of patterns in thought-streams, negativity, positivity, your beliefs, the personality

BODY

the nervous system, our wellbeing and our ability to connect to our SOUL using the BREATH via meditation. The breath is our life-force and it does connect us to our spirits

SOUL

your higher soul self who knows what your heart really desires

So when we merge all of this together we remember who we really are and what we really want. We integrate new beliefs, new power and new choices into our lives.

We can tune into the SOUL with the BODY, and from that connection we have the power to direct the MIND to create the life that reflects who we really are and what we really want.

Lets be clear. This is about LETTING GO OF WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTS. Its about what your higher Soul Self wants. Your Soul came into this world alone and will leave and return alone. We all love our families, but they are not who we are. That is so important to grasp if you want true FREEDOM and REAL LOVE.

And there is no need to feel selfish or guilty about this. Remember that oxygen mask rule? You have to put yours on first so you can be alive and fully show up for others. YOU define your relationships and when you are true to yourself first, you allow your loved ones to be true to themselves. That is healthy love. That is respect and it creates space for giving and receiving in a healthy way rather than those yucky feelings of obligation, expectation and walking on eggshells.

Real love is wanting the best for Soul. It is spirit. It is the connection of the higher Soul Self who is not attached to anyone. She spans across all dimensions – heaven and earth – and all of time.

nonattachment

Real love is the desire for reaching full potential in yourself (and your partner). It is uplifting, positive and helpful in that shared desire for positivity, wellbeing, satisfaction and contentment. It is without any conditions. It is forgiving and safe. It expresses and communicates freely without fear of criticism or judgment.

Real love sets the proper boundaries and standards which maintain the container of integrity in the relationship – with oneself and others.

Real love is not afraid of anything because it follows its heart. Nothing in alignment with your heart can ever be lost. It has open arms of care, comfort and affection.

It laughs, plays and teases any ego/negativity/fear which arises.

Real love is compassion.

Real love feels like air as it flames your internal fire and lifts you up like a hot air balloon. It literally raises your vibe and makes you feel lighter.

It makes you believe in yourself. It allows you to be who you are without projecting itself onto you.

So as you begin to meditate and focus on what you do want instead of focusing on what you don’t want, you will shift into alignment with your heart. You will begin to feel the courage required to create your life in a way that reflects the bigness of your “light” – your heart and soul.

creativity

As you begin to truly love yourself, take note of the “lightness” that comes with it. It is new space in a higher vibration. You literally are changing your nervous system and creating new neural connections in your brain.

Enjoy the journey. :)

Tons of love,
Angela xo

P.S. If you love all of this and want support on your personal journey back to Love, please don’t hesitate to reach out and I’ll be happy to hop on the phone with you for a complimentary 15 minute coaching consultation.

CLICK HERE to contact me.